Marriage Work - Keeping Your Marriage Together

Check frequently asked questions about Marriage Help

Open Question: Please help with this visa/immigration question!?

Hi, I am currently an F1 student and my loving boyfriend (who is a U.S Citizen) just asked me to marry him. We are going in 2 weeks to sign a marriage licensce and have a little ceremony to become officially married. Now, my semester in the language school i attend ends at the end of the month and I need to pay another 800$ for another 3 months of studying. What I want to know is how can I tell my school that I dont want to pay! I would like to ask for a vacation while the paperwork for my visa transfer starts. DO you think this is a good idea? Is it true that once our paperwork is submitted to immigration, my f1 statues no longer applies?

9 Mar 2010, 9:35 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: does this song have a literary device?

for a school project and i need help does it have a literary device like metaphor, simile, etc Write Sins Not Tragedies Lyrics Artist(Band):Panic! At The Disco "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" Oh, well imagine, as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor, and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words: "What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter. "And yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the needy groom's bride is a whore." I chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality. I chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense oh.... Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne Oh! Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne, pour the champagne I chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality. I chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality. Again... I chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality. I chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality. Again...

9 Mar 2010, 9:25 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: What do you think of Gay marriage being accepted in DC?

I think it's great!! Now for my stupid state to accept it! HELP http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjWKSO8iB6.rn2xwQdqAKM_sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20100309190404AADaIs7 haha no it's not! Have you been to Key west lately???

9 Mar 2010, 9:23 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: How could he do this after being married for long and we have two children?

we have been married for 10 years. and we have two adorable young kids, one boy and one girl. He is having an affair with another person he really likes her, she is 5 years younger than me. The things i don't understand. She is shorter and petite, a bit tan with more cleavage, i was always very close to his height and a bit flat chested until i had the kids. I always said his son was my mini version of him, and our daughter a mini version of me. Our kids look very same because we both have similar features. The thing when we got married, i paid for most of the wedding day. I was very considerate of him. I took on holiday, our honey moon. we were each others first, i got married at 25 and he was 29. We got married on easter day, a sunday. and in the same month he had his 30th bday, i baked him an amazing cake and planned the whole party. I paid for more of the home through my parents they were glad about my wedding, although he handled the mortgage more for a while. When i met him i remember thinking he was the most smart guy i had ever met. We both were wearing blue. that was my favorite colour and It was his favorite colour to wear. He wore a lot of smart blue and i like it. He was the religious one with every goody tushu values and morals and principals.. And he was geeky until i did him up and helped him. We were both a bit shy at the beginning. But now he is with this slut. She isn't even smart, more like a glad b'tch. She doesn't even have a decent family around her, Mine and his family were very close, my dad helped him out so much. I just wonder if she could have done every the things i did for him, with out being spoiled, i was a lot richer than him. And i had a lot of genuine care and consideration for him. We learned a lot from each other and with each other. She doesn't do 'any thing' for him... she is interested in his money but he didn't have every that before he married me. he couldn't even look or visit his possess family for years because his visa didn't allow it and he never had enough money to travel any way. There isn't any thing wrong with me now. I guess im a bit boring now that is every, but he never told me or helped any thing be different.. i did what he wanted too, and i made a lot of initiatives to do a lot my self. Although im a bit boring now, i have always been this way even when we met. I was a bit shy, a bit straight forward, but so was he......... I had shorter hair than most pakistani girls, a bit pale, much more taller, etc..... Even right now that is who i am. We had different experiences from life, ie; he was more self dependent. i was lucky i had my dad, i had exciting work opportunities, i studied fashion, worked in events, went to study to be a teacher... a central london chic for a while at that time until i was looking to receive married - shouldn't have let that go but i was really excited about marriage then and loved the change. He was quite bright graduated from LSE, and just had a silly IT job. Jordan - that name, yuck. For your information im Sorry im sounding a bit upset and bitter now.. -_-

9 Mar 2010, 9:11 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Please help me...its about my mom?

I don't understand my mom... Ive listened to her every my life complain about her marriage to my dad and how unhappy she is... I think I receive it..., I would be too..., its very dysfunctional... But why does she complain about her relationship... But will not take other peoples' advice... And will receive mad when I try to rub in the advice...CAUSE I CARE... ANY FEEDBACK AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT... Its her fault if she continues to receive hurt right...?

9 Mar 2010, 8:58 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: how can i help my friend? he has worked very hard in school to come to America.?

this is a lifelong dream for him. this girl has a kid and he thinks because she has been cheated on so much by men that she has finally decided that she wants a good guy. she says she will wait on him to receive here because she is really in adore with him. it will be about 17 months before he comes. he has relatives who have long lived in America but he messing up big time.as never dated anyone because arranged marriage is the thing in his country and he was not interested in that at every. can anyone offer me advice. i think he is messing up big time by committing to someone that he met online. he also plans to attend an ivy league college to receive his masters degree. can anyone offer any good advice?

9 Mar 2010, 8:57 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: I am so confused.. Should i CONTINUE this marriage or be another stat..PLs help!!?

My husband has been abusive to me since 3 months in our marriage the abusive-physical has finally stopped about 1 year and some months that to the intervention of our pastor and the help..I am really desperate and stressed out..i never though our marriage would be like this. We are a young good looking couple...his temper is ever so, so firey, its shocking!! he continues to recently yell at me at the top of his lungs and say 'f-you' to me and yell so load his voice is partially lost--25%. anyways...i neede help not sure to do because tis CONTINUES..he says he'll change he knows he's got a big anger prob..yet i have to take every this s-----t till this stops!!!its a nightmere and i have so may 'sorry notes- of his ...deep down i know he loves ...but he truly cannot help himself he is so scred up..ANGER-WISE...' I am now talking about d-word- this past 2 days..we are both christians so we believe marriage is sacred but WHO can liove with this and be glad?? Im NOT saying im perfect, but Jesus knows continuation of this does not bring happyness Please what do you SUGGEST?? SEperation to give him the scare/llast warning for change?? thx. IM NOT SAYING IM PERFECT, LIKE IN THE PAST IVE SLAPPED HIM WHEN HE CALLED ME THE B. WORD..BUT THAT HASNT HAPPENED IN A WHILE -YEAR PLUS..IVE HAD BRUISES FROM HIM ON THE ARM AND LEG SOMETIMES AND I'VE WONDERESD IF somehow ive d'deserved it' b/c i 'made him' mad??

9 Mar 2010, 8:57 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: do antidepressents make a sex starved marriage better?

I take them hoping to lower my sex steer and help my depression

9 Mar 2010, 8:32 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: I need help on entering the "you could win a day with justin bieber at disneyland resort" contest!?

ok so it says u have to be at least 18 to enter,so if my mom enters(she is 39) n she wins do i receive to go? it also says this "Employees of Ryan Seacrest Productions (the “Sponsor”), Premiere Radio Networks, Inc. (the “Administrator”) On- Air with Ryan Seacrest and American Top 40 with Ryan Seacrest (the “Radio Shows”), Disney Destinations, LLC and Southwest Airlines, Co. (the “Prize Providers”) (collectively, the “Sweepstakes Entities”), any radio station contracted to broadcast the Radio Shows, or their respective subsidiaries, affiliated companies, divisions, parent companies, officers, directors, agents or advertising agencies, as well as members of the immediate family of any such employees, are not eligible to participate or win. The term “immediate family” includes spouses, siblings, parents, kids, grandparents, and grandchildren, whether as “in-laws,” or by current or past marriage(s), remarriage(s), adoption, co-habitation or other family extension, and any other persons residing at the same household whether or not related.", wat does dat mean? website:http://www.ryanseacrest.com/rules/justin-bieber oh and im only 12 so dont post any rude things!!

9 Mar 2010, 8:10 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: The guy who I like suddenly changed his facebook status to married..?

He's had a married status before, with some of his good girl friends, but they were never dating to start with. I guess it was like a joke. But now he's suddenly 'married' to a girl who never commented on his wall or photo's or vice versa. Comments below said Aww that's cute! but he never commented on this post again. Are they really dating or is it one of those fake marriages. Please help me I'm so heartbroken.. Tell me what you think please.. From the info I provided please tell me what you think. * I don't want to ask him because I don't want him to think I care. We are too young to receive married, for the confused few out there.

9 Mar 2010, 7:54 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Need help settling sex dispute with wife?

My wife says she supports gay marriage and gay relationships, but sex (emotionally) with someone of the same gender is not the same as with the opposite gender. For example, she feels that if she were to have sex with another lady, that is different and wouldn't count. However, if I were to have sex with another lady that is wrong and unacceptable. I believe there is no difference (other than the physical boundaries) if one has sex with the same or opposite gender. Furthermore, by maintaining that same sex intercourse isn't the same and doesn't count, she isn't as open minded about same sex couples as she believe she is. So the question is who is right, me or her; and does homosexual sex count? P.S. Before you ask, no I wasn't trying to receive something, it was just a topic that came up in conversation the other day... really it was.

9 Mar 2010, 7:51 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: CANCEL REGISTERED MARRIAGE?

BEORE THREE MONTHS I GOT REGISTERED MARRIAGE AND NOW I CAME TO KNOW THAT HE IS A FRAUD HOW DO I CANCEL THOS PL HELP ME IT IS URGENT

9 Mar 2010, 7:43 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Should i just break things off now or later?

ok last December i found out i was 4 months pregnant, then 2 weeks later i also found out that i had chlamydia ,which i got from my x bf. Telling my bf was difficult but i had to do it because i didn't want to keep this from him...then i started thinking about everything I've done in my life then i made a promise to God that i will wait till marriage to have sex again ( that's if i ever do) , and if i break the promise he can take my life. Now me and my bf were still together but lately he's been asking to have sex but i keep turning him down because of the promise i made to God. so yesterday we were talking about that also then i told him that i have a feeling this gonna b a problem down the road , and he told me yea, then i told him" so were here( our relationship) till your fed up and can't take it no more he replied and said yes. So this whole thing made everything a lot clearer about where we stand...and I'm really strong about not having sex again. So since eventually we will end up breaking up cuz of that should we break up now or wait till after..Its unhappy because were about to have a baby next month :( any advice will help please!

9 Mar 2010, 7:37 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: can you help put words in order ? all of them please?

village, cottage, bridge fence, odd , chance, twice, cage, chance, twice, cage, change ,carriage , glance, ridge, manage, damage , since, marriage, edge, lodge, cabbage, dodge, fleece, fragrance, homage, fringe, excellence, nice, place, huge, judge, page

9 Mar 2010, 7:19 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Eliza Gibson Joiner 1920 and 1930 Texas.?

Anyone with a real interest in Geneology, this is for you! I'm doing research on my paternal line and I'm trying to locate a 1920 census record for Eliza Gipson/Gibson (my Great-Great Grandmother) This is an African American family, but they have been listed as Mulatto on another census record. Her maiden name was Campbell...She married Phillip Gibson, and was widowed before 1910. I have located every other records for this family prior to 1940 (of course 1940 isn't available), and 1920 & 30 are the ones that I am having trouble locating. I'm hoping that someone with fresh eyes could help me locate it. The name is most likely misspelled or I'm over looking the record. Eliza or Liza b. abt 1863 in Georgia. I'm almost 100 percent sure that they would be living in Fort Bend County or Austin County, Texas. she had about 18 kids: Leola Nancy Hezekiah (H G) Rosa JoAnna Hallie Mary Ann Henrietta Phillip Roxie Joseph Adaline Grace Lillie Mae Earnest Jerry Jodi Ruby Lee I'm not saying that every of these kids lived with her in 1920, but some of these names may appear as members of the household. As of 1910 Roxie, Joe, Adeline, and Grace were living in the home. Per family members these kids were the oldest of the last 8 or so kids. Eliza did remarry after her first marriage to a man named Robert Joiner of the Carolinas...he should be shown as her husband in 1930, as they married in 1925, Fort Bend County. I have been using ancestry.com, rootsweb, Texas GenWeb, and Family Search.org to conduct every of my research. I am well versed on websites dedicated to genealogy, so please if you're going to list a bunch of websites with no explanation, that's not going to be much help to me. Thank You in advance!

9 Mar 2010, 6:57 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Please help with pet and my marriage to stay strong?

My husband has a dog and it creates problems for our relationship because of the amount of shedding that comes off the dog every over the floor and furniture. I know that dogs shed and there's not much that can change that, but does anyone have some suggestions on how to reduce the amount of shedding? I have a problem too and would like to find a better way to cope with the hair every over the home. I have to vaccum at least 3 times a day to be comftouable in my possess home because I can't handle the hair every over and our 11 month old daughter crawling every over in it. I take it out on my husband and become very mad with him. How can I fix this problem to where our relationship can be better. When the dog isn't here I'm glad as a lark and I adore my husband, just not his dog. I think another factor about the dog is that he klings to my husband and no one can receive close to him without the dog growling and showing his teeth especially at our daughter. Please only serious answers not anything smart. I adore my husband and want our marriage to stay strong, but this is a problem I have and need to figure out a solution that will help.

9 Mar 2010, 6:31 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Please help with a marriage and a pet?

9 Mar 2010, 6:23 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: I found a condom in my husbands pocket over the weekend, not sure what to do but I suspect him of cheating?

I found a condom in my husbands pocket over the weekend. We've been together 15 years. I'm in the UK. I was shocked when I saw it as we have haven't used contraception for 14 years and something feels very off to me. I decided to confront him about it yesterday, Monday. Face to face. He went very silent initially and blamed it on tiredness but I know my hubby well and something doesn't feel right. I can't help but wonder that he's cheated on me. I was hoping to have a baby with him, I'm in my 30's and so is he. I have a feeling he's grown sleepy of me. I've put on a few pounds, not a lot but a few more than when we got married. He hasn't opened up. I've had passes made at me but i've not succumbed because I adore my husband and to me, marriage is for life. Not sure what to feel. In fact, I feel pretty much worthless and helpless. What the hell do I do now?

9 Mar 2010, 6:20 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: HELP! My Marriage is Falling Apart! What Should I Do For MY 1 Year old daughter?

Me & my husband have been togather 4 years and married three. We have a 13 month old. Me and my husband have faught alot in the past & he has put his hands on me. I have been feeling weird these last couple of months towards him. I don't have the desire for sex nor' do i like it anymore. & i don't feel anything special anymore when we cuddle or spend time togather. I dont want to be with anyone else or if i were to become single i wouldnt wanna date for a while. I just don't think i am glad anymore. sometimes i dread for him to arrive home from work. He is constantly putting me down since i am a stay at home mom. He doe'nt want me to receive a job or anything. a stay at home mom is what he wants me to be. He is a sub contractor for a construction company that builds buildings. And he's always telling i would receive fired if i had a job and espeacialy if i had to do his job. He comes home telling me what to do and demanding that it gets done right then and there. But the confusing part about every of this is that for some reason i dont wanna leave him.And i know thats what i should do. But i am just not sure what it it is yet that holds me back. I dont know if i still adore him or not because i dont have any romantic feelings for him anymore. I only know one reason why i am still trying to act like everything is okay between us and that would be my 13 month old daughter. Please help me out and give me advice and tell me what you think might be going on with me in this relationship and is there anything i can do to try to fix this. & what should i do for my daughters sake. thanks so much!

9 Mar 2010, 6:12 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: My DOB 17/12/73 7:56am. My hubby thinks i'm unlucy 4 him since he lost business after our marriage. Is it true?

we got married on June 10, 1993 may be between 1-2 in the afternoon, ours is registered marriage. He lost his business and facing severe financial and other problems since then. He is blaming me for every the causes. I feel very guilty these days and i think may be i am unlucky for him and his family. Even his parents and sisters think so. Is it true, if so is there any remedy for it. His DOB is 04/27/66, 12:30 noon. He is thinking of divorce. I am undergoing severe stress, I am alone and have nobody. I have no parents or brothers. Please help.

9 Mar 2010, 11:42 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: My DOB 17/12/75, 7:56 am, My hubby thinks i am unlucky for him. Since he lost his business after our marriage?

Please help me and let me know. I am undergoing severe stress because of this and not able to concentrate on anything. It has registered in his mind that i am the cause for every his loss and back drops in his life. if so is there any remedy. Now he is thinking of divorce, please help

9 Mar 2010, 11:33 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: NEED HElp/advice!!!asap!?

i HAVE BEEN GOING out with my boyfriend since 2003. we are both in our early 20's and arrive from a culture which believes in arranged marriage. But his parents and some relatives know about me and my parents know about him. Its clear that we are not getting an arranged marriage. He recently reactived her facebook, and on his profile has no mention that he is in a relationship and has random girls writing on his wall etc. i trust him but just question why he doesnt state he is in a relationship. especially since we have been going out for so long it hurts my feelings. i talked to him about it, and he said he would change it...but he didnt so i asked him again and he said...im not going to do change it because my family is on my page...BUt his family knwos about me. so I donno its making me question stuff. wouldn't his family care more about random girls rather than a girl he has been with for 7 years?

9 Mar 2010, 10:45 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Need help with marriage agreements?

Ok, this is hypothetical, lets say I am married and I possess a tire business and my wife owns a business as well and she becomes sick, and asks me to help out in her business. Due to the illness she eventually asks(verbally) me to devote my full time to the business and operate the business as a joint enterprise, share equally in the ownership of its assets, and divide its returns equally. Pursuit to the agreement, I close the tire business and then 5 years later she leaves me, while denying every rights to her business. If I sue to enforce our agreement, is the agreement enforceable? Why? Would it be a different story if this was taken in writing?

9 Mar 2010, 10:42 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Should sex before marriage be Legal or Illegal?

Legal or Illegal? I say... ILLEGAL! It is completely wrong and against God. If people waited, we wouldn't have every the problems that we do in this world like diseases, bastard kids (ugh those little things are running around everywhere!), etc. This world has no morals or values, they might as well be in jail or pay a fine for every the wrong they've done to this world. We should make a change, give back and cease friends, family, and strangers from doing it, and look if we can make it against the law. Anyone who doesn't help and cease people from doing it, then you're greedy and that's worse than not giving to charity. Hotels shouldn't book people unless they're married, bastard kids should be sent away and their parents put in jail, a couple shouldn't be allowed to buy a home, condoms, birth control (even though those are wrong, sex is strictly for procreating) unless they are married, etc., etc., etc. If these teen "moms" waited, then we wouldn't have this tripe of a show and they wouldn't have those bastards and this board wouldn't exist so I wouldn't be here typing this right now! Those kids would be much more special and much cuter if they were legitimate! I don't know if you are actually legit in real life, but if you aren't, you're just another bastard child. Nothing special. I wish I could cease my friends, family and strangers from doing it but no one listens to me when I tell them not to do it! This world is going downhill!!!

9 Mar 2010, 10:11 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: POLL: Sex before marriage should be....?

9 Mar 2010, 10:07 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Marriage agreement enforcement?

Lets say I am married and I possess a tire business and my wife owns a business as well and she becomes sick, and asks me to help out in her business. Due to the illness she eventually asks me to devote my full time to the business below the promise we will operate the business as a joint enterprise, share equally in the ownership of its assets, and divide its returns equally. Pursuit to the agreement, I close the tire business and then 5 years later she leaves me, while denying every rights to her business. If I sue to enforce our agreement, is the agreement enforceable?

9 Mar 2010, 10:05 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: what should i do with this situation?

I'm seventeen and four months from my birthday. I've been with my boyfriend for a long time now. Two years on April 2. Now, I adore my boyfriend very much and we have even talked about marriage. But everytime we go to his home, we receive closer to having sex. He tries to control himself but is scared of loosing control and doing something that I don't approve of yet, which is sex. I'm not religious or anything like that but I don't want to do that stuff until I'm 18 and we are living on our possess. The unhappy part is, I sometimes want to loose control too. What can we do to still have adore and make this last until we receive our possess place? plz be honest and dont mention anything sickning like oral sex. thanks for your help and advice

9 Mar 2010, 10:01 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: My bf is having a baby from his ex-girlfriend and it is killing me?

Im 20 years old and he is 25 years old. He works as a nurse and I am graduating nurse this june 2010. We were together since August and he broke up wit his ex-gf last April because the chick cheated with his other baby dad. We just found out he is the dad of the his ex gf's baby born on November 2009. His ex-gf wants him back soo bad that she is using the baby making things difficult. It takes a strong person with no problems in life & has good self-esteem to be holding on to this. Me and my boyfriend adore each other. THE TWIST IS: I AM MARRIED last January 2010 and have no kids. My marriage is suppose to be for my visa papers but along the process we had a special relationship. I end everything last year of March even if my papers is just being process. My husband wants to help me still wit my papers even if I dont want him but secretely he trying everything to make my marriage work. But I regret my marriage since I realize I need to grow & mature as a person more & I dnt want him to receive hurt. He is a nice, responsible person but i realize he is not for me. My husband resides in California as a marines..NO SEX WAS INVOLVED BETWEEN US BUT HE adore ME TO THE FULLEST. I visit him once in a while & text each other every single day to make sure everything is fine. My boyfriend needs to put up with my husband since my papers will not be done for the next 4 years. I need to put up with his babymother who is trying every his maximum amount of bitchiness to use the child and be miserable. I have no problem with the child because she is innnocent & i know I will be a good stepmother. IT MAKES ME THINK IM A LOST PERSON NOW. Please I just need enlighten and advises because asking my friends' advices makes me embarrass about myself...i never knew how strong I am not until there is no other choice but to be strong

10 Mar 2010, 8:46 am | click here for answers

Open Question: i know im young but im confused on what to do!?

i've been with this guy fro 5 months and from what im hearing thats like marriage for kids my age hahaha. Im 16 and i adore him truelly i do. but i've been talking to one of my brothers friends who really likes me.... i actually talked on the phone for two hours with him last night :) i adore my bf i really do but he's really just like an innocent little boy hes 5 months younger than me and i took his virginity, he tries to be difficult and tough but hes not every we do every day is have sex, i hate it. The guy im talking to is 17 and a stoner! I KNOW SOUNDS STUPID. but i just want to have fun while i still can! i promised my bf i would never leave him and i left him and went back to him and promised the same thing AGAIN. help!!!!!! i want to be adventourous! and actually have fun with the guy im with.

10 Mar 2010, 8:26 am | click here for answers

Open Question: Torn Between Leaving and Staying: How Do I Make Him Stay?

My boyfriend and I broke up less than two days ago. I adore him more than anything in the world, but I made our relationship very difficult because of my emotional instabilities. I will do anything to receive him back. I am going to counseling to deal with my issues (they apply to my life in general, not just to my relationship with him), I’m reading self-help books, and I’m giving him as much space and time as he needs. I’m not forcing him to arrive back, but I wish more than anything that he does. There really is no one else for me, and I think that I can really make him glad once I become a better person. But I want to be a better person not just for him, but for myself, for everyone else I adore. How can I convince him to give me another chance? He loves me dearly, I know. He told m yesterday (he sought me out himself) that he’s miserable without me, but the thought of getting back together doesn’t make him glad either, because I hurt him so much. He hugged me for half a minute, kissed me very passionately, told me he loved me, and then said “I shouldn’t have done that.” He’s torn between leaving and staying, and I just want him to stay, to just give me another chance to make him glad like he made me glad. I’m leaving him completely alone so that he can make a decision on his possess. I’m trying to exemplify the person I’m promising to be in the future by being supremely nice, understanding, and emotionally stable. I’m a determined person, and I really can change. Not just for his happiness, but for my possess. I even wrote a letter to him explaining how committed I am to making us work, how even if he chooses not to stay, I’ll find a way to repay him for the wonderful things he’s done to me, that I’ll adore him forever (I haven’t sent it to him yet. Don’t know if I should). But is there a way to convince him to stay, to give me a chance to make him glad? Am I doing the right thing now? I don’t want to push him, because I want him to be glad and secure in his decision. But can I convince him somehow without pushing him? Oh and we’ve had some fantastically good times, too. We both know this. He’s just overwhelmed at the moment by the not-so-good ones. every I can think about are the glad times, and how I want to make them happen again. Any advice for me? P.S.- I know this shouldn't be in the marriage and divorce section but I thought the answerers here might give me a more mature perspective on the matter. Well, he's stuck by me for months even though I make it so difficult. He's always been loving and encouraging and optimistic about our future. I've just sent him over the edge. And I want him to know that it's ok for him to arrive back, if not today, then soon. Because I'll make sure that I do for him the wonderful things he did for me.

10 Mar 2010, 8:21 am | click here for answers

Open Question: How can she get a job when she's been unemployed for almost 4 years?

My friends niece is 33 years old and she has been unemployed for going on 4 years. I'm trying to help her find a job, ANY job. I know you may be saying "Doesn't everyone need a job these days?" She's a really good person and everything, she just puts everyone ahead of herself WAY MORE than she should. She's had jobs in the past, but my pal says she's always seemed to do something to receive herself fired. He says she'd arrive to work drunk once, she slept with the bosses married son at another job (who also worked there) and caused the marriage to end apparently. She's been fired from 3 or more jobs overall, and when my friends mom got sick, his niece moved in with them, to help take care of her. When his mom passed away (5 years ago), she just felt like she could stay with him and his brother forever (rent free) watching episodes of CSI everyday and cooking in exchange for room and board. It's gotten to the point where it's getting ridiculous. I was laid off recently myself, but I'm still trying to help her find something too, so we can every be employed together. She'll call temp agencies, but they will ask for her social, look that she hasn't worked in 4 years and tell her they can't help her. Not sure what to do at this point. She's going everywhere I'm going and I feel bad when we have to receive back in the car, because they tell her they can't work with her. Is this nice of thing illegal? How can she ever receive a job at this point? Advice?

10 Mar 2010, 8:15 am | click here for answers

Open Question: How do I "let go" of what happened? Only 30 & up, please... This is LONG. Sorry?

I recently turned 40, have been through a lot with relationships and am where I know I want to be with a man. I would like to be married again, have a man that knows what it is to treat how he is treated. I found one. Or so I thought. I was happier than I've ever been (I've had only long term relationships ranging from the least at 2 years, top of 8 with marriage). From the beginning there were the usual cover-ups (which I find that most do, but I don't tolerate - Yes, I am always honest about my past & gift.. avoids issues). First, we agreed not to look other people-his idea and I was smitten so agreed. He said he had to go to church one day. After I talked to him a little more since he was vague, discovered that he was supposed to go with the girl he just broke up with (to date me). He got a free card on that one after a "chat" about what to expect dating me. Then, he had a pal that came into town and I asked him if they had ever been together, he said no. They went downtown to a Cubs game and sightseeing and he took her to the airport. Granted, he came over after the game and was at my home before he took her to the airport. No, I never met her. We went away for the weekend, had a few drinks, he got a text telling him she was moving back and I asked why she wanted his help to move, conversation got longer. Apparently drank too much because said something about sleeping with her a long time ago. I asked him why he lied and he said he didn't realize I was that chilly about past relationships and felt like he needed to in order to avoid an argument. Another "chat". Yes, I'm chilly headed. I didn't feel I had a reason to be jealous by the way he treated me, spent every second with me that he wasn't working, text me every day, etc. Everyone who knew him said he was a totally different person and I am the best thing that ever happened to him. NOW, here's where the complications start. He has bartended since I met him. 19 years part time now. No steady full time job that was over 3 years it seems (last full time he got let go from was a year ago for real estate appraisals and his best pal was who employed him. Worked when he wanted. He owns and rents a townhome property as well. His brother lived with him and gave him 700/month in rent. He always had money to spend when we went out and $500 for his boat to "fix"... Then for 2 months over the summer my contract went from 40 hours to 20 hours. We spent a lot of time together with the kids and alone - usually four days/nights a week, if not more. He bartended Wed/Fri/Sat and made about $1k/wk. What I didn't know? CC bills and back taxes owed... also that the renter wasn't making her payments on time and he didn't have the money to front for mortgage or association so the assn sued him and thats how I found out TWO DAYS before we moved in together that he NEEDED a full time job the entire time we were dating and just didn't receive one because he liked spending time with me. ??? HUH? OK, well, I guess his frivolous spending wasn't going toward his cell, trash or cable... they were every intermittently turned off with "I keep forgetting to pay the stuff on time, I should pay online so my credit doesn't go bad". trash cans were taken... still gone ... new renter doesn't need them. So, I said he had to receive a full time job or kick his renter out. Easier said than done... he got another bartending job by me before he rented his home (second property - both now breaking even)... however, two and a half months later, not even a Home Depot job. He tries, has arrive close, but owes me about $1k from our agreed on rent. My problem here is that had he told me he couldn't help out, I would've told him to stay put til he figured it out. I'm a single mom of two boys, work as a consultant from home and JUST started to receive ahead and have over $5k in the bank in October. THEN, I started my possess company based off of a referral from what I've done for 6 years. I had ONE shot, hired three people - he was one of them because he ASKED and said he could do a great job - it was money. $800 a month working TEN hours a week. Yes, it was on the phone setting appointments. SO WHAT? You receive no rude people, just people they are already approved. He was given the "company memo" because I could tell he wasn't doing his job... I was sitting right next to him. He knew my reputation was on the line, knew he wasn't doing what he was asked, got himself fired with the HEAD internal wholesaler, who convinced the others to move to where he went. He lost my two best friends their jobs and they quit other jobs to work from home. I have been doing this six years and YES, you DO have to call everyday if they ask, etc. Yes, I talked to him before it got bad, I sent an email to every making it look like new policies were in place, just to receive him to make the required calls. Nope. He lied and said that they told him he didn't need to call in and that Thanksgiv

10 Mar 2010, 8:09 am | click here for answers

Open Question: AM I MAKING A MISTAKE?

I am a lady of 33 years of age and my fiance is 25... We adore each other terribly and have decided to legalise our marriage thro the Attorney General. I have a 10 year old son who he loves and between us he makes more money than I do and he is ready to support my son... at times i dont know how our age difference will affect our relationship in future coz he says he is ok with it.... He is born again and has helped me cease drinking and going out... Our relationships feels positive and unique.... please tell me what you think

10 Mar 2010, 7:19 am | click here for answers

Open Question: marriage certificate?

I went to garam panchayat for marriage certificate( bichadi,udaipur Rajasthan ) with every documents but sachiv refuse to Mack the marriage certificate He said go bride places & marriage certificate issues that places. I went there but they also refused & said the marriage certificate is issues your places. Still I did not receive my marriage certificate. So kindly help me Regards om prakash

10 Mar 2010, 7:15 am | click here for answers

Open Question: how do i handle this issue with my boyfriend?

I posted a recent question earlier this week somewhat similar to this one, to inform you on my situation I'll start from the beginning. Great boyfriend, always cared, trusted, loves me, he has a great family, he has an awesome personality, hes cute, and doesn't lie to me about anything! I've been with him a year and four months and like any other relationship we have our arguments over ridiculous topics. He has never looked at another girl, he has always been straightforward with me, and his mom is almost like a best pal to me. He isn't too glad with his mom and me being best friends because he doesn't want me saying anything to her that will make him embarrassed. He explains to me that he has to face her everyday and not me. I always ignore him and his meaningless/silly complaints because he loves to joke around about it. You are probably thinking I have it good relationship wise, but here is the downfall after every this good. He is overly protective over me. I'm not one of those High school type girls who wears exploiting clothes, who hugs any male as long as everyone is watching, yells and swears as long as her friends are around, and is a straight out drama filled. I would suppose I'm quite, I wear jeans or pajama bottoms depending on if I'm on my period or not, I'm focused on school and my grades, and I don't care much for guys at my High school. I suppose I'm one of those girls who want a good career that can pay for her bills on her possess without any help. I am confident enough to know I won't receive involved with any bad crowds which I have in the past, I have lost a couple close friends to overdoses, I have lost family members due to alcohol poisoning and kidney failure, and I have three aunts that smoke, a step dad and a biological dad that are alcoholics and are failures in their past/gift marriages, and I have one pal who died with her boyfriend in a car accident after being at a party drinking around 12am. I'm self aware of the causes and effects of bad crowds and friends, so overall I'm a smart girl and hoping for a bright future with my boyfriend. I'll explain my boyfriends story and personal backgrounds. He has his GED and he doesn't have a job, we are planning to move in together soon and we can't until he finds a decent paying job that is suited for him, he doesn't want me hanging around any guys and he gets 'upset' when I don't tell him where I'm going or who I'm going with, and I don't believe he has told his mom that he is moving out soon which worries me. Okay, now here is my question after you should understand him, myself, and where we stand in our relationship. He overreacts sometimes about how I feel about him and his looks. He is extremely attractive and I would adore him even if he wasn't! I have expressed that to him a number of times and his replies are always 'So even if I wasn't attractive you would adore me, right? Then how do I know you aren't just saying your attracted to me.' I'm not even sure know how to respond to that, it's like if someone in your family dies your friends could only say so much to you for your loss. He isn't joking about it and of course I would know if he was! Sometimes I receive upset over the fact when I'm not in the mood to be 'bad' he says it is because I'm not attracted to him, and of course that isn't the reason! I'm a very emotional girl and have been diagnosed with bi polar since I've been nine years old. I cannot handle him saying this to me and I've expressed that to him, he says sorry and we fall back into the same routine every three weeks or so. How should I handle this? How would you handle this with your boyfriend/girlfriend? I'm definitely not breaking up with him so please don't suggest that, we are a committed relationship and plan to stay that way! Nice suggestions only please!

10 Mar 2010, 7:13 am | click here for answers

Open Question: Can I get a Visa/Residence permit for Germany if my Great Grand Father was German?

Please can someone help me? I am a South African and have been searching for such a long time, without any results. Whenever I try to phone the German consulate, I only receive a ghost voice. I need to find out what the requirements is for an ancestral visa/allow for Germany. And how does it work and what do I need to apply? I have a marriage certificate of my grand parents on which my great grand fathers names appear, and it states that he was a German citizen. Is there companies that can help me trace him in order to obtain a birth/death certificate? How much will something like this cost? Please can someone help me - I dont know what to do anymore, where to look or who to ask. Thank you

10 Mar 2010, 7:06 am | click here for answers

Open Question: Why does Hawaii want to make it a Death Penalty offense to ask for the Usurper's records of birth?

We don't know his name -- this man, this usurper -- is it Steven Dunham, Barry Soetoro, or Barack Obama? No one has seen his college records, his Illinois Bar records are scrubbed. Some claim he was born in Hawaii. Kenyans claim he was born in Kenya. He says his Dad was a Kenyan. He may have claimed at times to have been Indonesian -- that is, he may have enrolled in college as a foreign exchange student. There's no marriage certificate for his parents, and the one one divorce record seems somewhat questionable. Hawaii refuses to release any substantial records which would help resolve the issues of this usurper, despite the fact that their possess laws allow them to when there is a legitimate public interest. And now Hawaii attempts to make asking for those records a felony. A capital crime. Capital crimes, felonies, are those possibly subject to the death penalty. Is this still America, the free? http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/felony "felony n. 1) a crime sufficiently serious to be punishable by death or a term in state or federal prison, as distinguished from a misdemeanor which is only punishable by confinement to county or local jail and/or a fine. " http://butterdezillion.wordpress.com/2010/02/26/%E2%80%9Cvexatious-requestor%E2%80%9D-bill/ "On January 27th Hawaii State Senator Will Espero introduced SB2937 , which would add to Hawaii’s existing open records law, UIPA, a provision to label as “vexatious requestors” people who exhibit 2 or more behaviors that the bill calls “abuses” of UIPA." It's only another step towards making it a felony ... Hawaii goose steps towards making gathering information about Obama criminal. The last step of that march ends up like Döllersheim. Look up the fate of that town. "Unauthorized disclosure is permitted. Vital statistics--required information on death and birth certificates--has not been changed by HIPAA. The information required on [a birth or death] certificate can be provided without authorization." http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0689/is_9_53/ai_n6207442/ Penny Lee: (1) Felonies, by DEFINITION are those crimes for which the death penalty might be applied. Misdemeanors are those crimes which would never receive a death penalty. Do proper research, girl! (2) Laws start as toothpicks and end up as pikes thrust through the body public.

10 Mar 2010, 6:40 am | click here for answers

Open Question: How do I get past this?

I have brought a lot of past baggage with me to my current relationship. I was in an abusive marriage for 12 years previously. Aside from the physical and emotional abuse my ex cheated constantly. I have been in this current relationship for 3 years and 3 months. I always have it in the back of my head that he will cheat or is cheating. Now mind you he has never given me a reason to think otherwise except one time 2 years ago. He every of the sudden started wearing cologne to work and paying more attention to his appearance. Then it every stopped after a week. I confronted him on it and of course he denied any wrongdoing. Now mind you I want to believe him. But I really just cannot.I just want to receive past the past so to talk. I don't know how to find out the truth. I also don't want to be paranoid and crazy thinking the worst when maybe there was not anything going on. Please help me. Any advice would be appreciated.

10 Mar 2010, 6:03 am | click here for answers

Open Question: Unhappily married: Should I get a divorce?

I got married to my husband when we were both 19. New we are 25 and a half. Neither of us believed in the idea of pre-marital sex and that was a big reason for our marriage at such an early age. I “grew up” faster than my husband. After getting married I became very very responsible. My husband, on the other side, didn’t. After we graduated college (note that in college I had to do so much work for him, write many of his papers, etc), he went on going to grad school but he failed to attend classes the first year and thus failed (he didn’t tell he for a whole year that he is missing classes, I just found out at the end). Now we are together enrolled in school. He’s only going to school because I pressure him to. My husband doesn’t really help me around. He spends a lot of time on the internet reading news, politics, computer games, etc. During that time I have to study, cook, clean and worry for the future. I am just very depressed. I don’t find support in him. I never look him worrying for the future, for me, for us, for our family. I feel abandoned and lonely. Plus, he talks many times down to me. He uses swear words. Physical aggression was very rare (though it happened 3-4 times during these 6 years) but I can’t stand hearing him talk to me like that. I feel so unappreciated. I don’t look myself having kids with him because he is just so irresponsible and I can’t bear the thought of having my kids grow up in an environment in which the dad talks down to the mom. I wanted a loving, supportive husband, someone who can be there for him when I need him. I wanted to feel protected and taken care of. I am feeling none of that and the feeling has been with me for about 3 years. I look at other marriages and when I look husbands being so difficult working and dedicated to their family I receive so so depressed about my possess situation. It went to the point I prayed for my life to end. I have withdrawn from social contact because I am just too unhappy to interact with relatives and friends. I dread the idea of people asking me how I am doing when I feel miserable. I want to receive a divorce. My brain tells me that I have to because I don’t think my husband will change too soon and the way he is is taking a bigger and bigger toll on me every day. Problem is I still adore him to an extend and I worry for him after he will be left by himself. He is very much dependent on me for everything and I don’t want to look him hurt. At the same time though, I know I will myself receive hurt if I leave this go on. Back in September 09, I fell for a classmate. He is very hardworking, dedicated, loyal and has helped me very much in school. I know the reason I fell for him is because I feel unloved and unappreciated at home. I opened up and told him everything I’m feeling in regards to my marriage. He knew me from before and told me he has never met someone like me and that he loves me. Indeed, we are very very similar in that we stand for the same exact values and want the same things in life. When I look at him and look just how serious and dedicated he is I know he would make a wonderful partner. I now know what I want in life and someone like him would be a good, loving, reliable partner for me. I feel like because of my emotional disillusionment regarding my marriage I’m looking for a dad figure in a partner – someone who would protect and adore taking care of me. I’m in some sort of an emotional affair with this person. Nothing physical happened and it never will, unless I am divorced. He understand and approves of that. I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking for filing for divorce and spend some time on my possess to clear up my mind. I feel guilty towards my husband about me having an emotional affair with someone else. I keep on telling myself I am not a bad person and that I’ve just been disillusioned and felt uncared for. Any advice regarding my life would be much appreciated.

10 Mar 2010, 5:54 am | click here for answers

Open Question: What are 5 steps in finding the feature partner?

so i hav an exam tom. about values and can any body answer these honestly Courtship marriage dating and what are the 2 steps pls help me sp i may pass these exams! thnx u

10 Mar 2010, 5:18 am | click here for answers

Open Question: Shall i believe lived-in boyfriend asked me to WAIT for him, after he admitted his affair and the girl pregant?

He admitted honestly and ask my help a month ago to stand by him and let him fix the problem for a year until the girl give birth as he want the baby. Me and Him lived in for 10 years and actually plan to marry and have our possess family. Something goes wrong last quarter of 2009, i demand more caring / attention from him probably insecure feeling prior to the marriage plan, and he was attracted to another girl in his night-time study courses, of course he find that lady more understandable to him as when you are just new in adore. But i am with him 10 years with plan of many thing with him together, i adore him very much still though i felt so painful daily. Friends know my problem every WILL ASK ME TO LEAVE HIM.. but i still want to be with him and plan to also receive pregant this year.. AM I STUPID ENOUGH .. i really lost and need opinion from other, i cannot receive out of this pain.

10 Mar 2010, 4:45 am | click here for answers

Open Question: I got a serious growing issue with my Mum?

I find it really difficult to ignore what she says because they are the worst of things, i don't hear but the lies can receive to me, maybe even subconsciously. My Mum said i am not going to be a personal trainer im going fail in life not move to USA not have a glad marriage and not going to make a workout video.. and she knows these are my main biggest dreams and she even said my wife is going to think im a slob because i didn't make my bed :O what a LOSER Why would she be like this? she NEVER listens when i tell her to cease she just has an bad tongue that's waiting to spit out poison and says what whatever she wants to say and doesn't have any respect to keep her mouth close when i tell her i have had enough, my Uncles x wife slapped her soo difficult once because my Mum told her anybody would know shes a dirty lady if they saw her bathroom! i told her today that shes bad! i don't even drink or go out and do bad things im christian and she always picks on me and puts me down for everything, every i do is mind my possess Business adore and help people and i would be so much better at life if she is the source of every my problems and insecurities. When i move to USA i actually never want to look her again and i told her this because she is the only one trying to put every the lies in my head to poison me against my dream. Is she just jealous that i have a great future ahead of me and she never achieved much? She does alot for me but only for her possess self gratification and when i say shes wrong she hides behind the bible! or doesn't hear at every! she thinks its ok to smash my stuff around because jesus did when he was mad smashing stuff in the temple. I told her shes not Jesus! She's got noFriendss because she finds fault in everyone and she only likes Animals, every she does is complain to her Mum and uncle about people and shes always stressed out chewing her fingernails ETC, i really do no like her one bit, as soon as i receive in the car with her in the morning she complains to me about everything and ask's me the same question 3 times in a row. Im sure you receive the picture of what she is like. She is like the devils puppet to bring me down. This problem cannot be fixed she has been like this for years and has never stopped doing one thing i told her too do, Now i am 18 i am old enough to realise people like her exist and will not play a role in my life. I cant talk to her tho this is an unfixable peoblem i tried for 3 years.

10 Mar 2010, 3:54 am | click here for answers

Open Question: Help my Mom is a DRAGON!?

My Mum said im not going to be a personal trainer im gonna fail in life not move to USA not have a glad marriage and not going to make a workout video.. and she knows these are my main dreams :O what a LOSER Why would she be like this? she never listens when i tell her to cease she just has an bad tongue and says what she wants and doesn't have respect to keep her mouth close, my uncles x wife slapped her once because my mum told her shes a dirty lady because her bathroom wasn't clean! i told her today that shes bad! i don't even drink or go out and do bad things im christian and she always picks on me and puts me down for everything, she is the source of every my problems and insecurities. When i move to USA i actually never want to look her again and i told this because she is the one trying to put every the lies in my head to poison me against my dream. Is she just jealous that i have a great future ahead of me and she never achieved much? She does alot for me but only for her gratification and when i say shes wrong she hides behind the bible! she thinks its ok to smash stuff around because jesus did when he was mad. She's got no freidns because she finds fault in everyone and she only likes animals, every she does is complain to my grandma and uncle about people and shes always stressed out chewing her fingernails etc, i really do no like her one bit, as soon as i receive in the car with her in the morning she complains to me about everything and ask me the same question 3 times in a row. Im sure you receive the picture of what she is like. I cant talk to her tho this is an unfixable peoblem i tried for 3 years. She's got no freidns because she finds fault in everyone and she only likes animals, every she does is complain to my grandma and uncle about people and shes always stressed out chewing her fingernails etc, i really do no like her one bit, as soon as i receive in the car with her in the morning she complains to me about everything and ask me the same question 3 times in a row. Im sure you receive the picture of what she is like. I cant talk to her tho this is an unfixable peoblem i tried for 3 years and now im grown up and made my desision to ditch her. She's got no freidns because she finds fault in everyone and she only likes animals, every she does is complain to my grandma and uncle about people and shes always stressed out chewing her fingernails etc, i really do no like her one bit, as soon as i receive in the car with her in the morning she complains to me about everything and ask me the same question 3 times in a row. Im sure you receive the picture of what she is like. I cant talk to her tho this is an unfixable peoblem i tried for 3 years and now im grown up and made my desision to ditch her in a yr.

10 Mar 2010, 3:29 am | click here for answers

Open Question: A problem related to my friend?

Hi this problem is related to my pal....She have a bf from last 4yrs.....they both adore each other most....but due to diffrent cast now they live as just friends as she dont want to be in relationship with him agst the wish of her parents.....now the problem is that her bf saying her that his parents are forcing him to receive engage for marriage with another girl......becoz of this she always looks very disappointed.....he always call her to talk to him but she avoids.....she is asking me what to do???/////but i cant figure out her situation and also i cant look her disappointed in anyway......plz tell me what to say to her????///she is not ready to marry with that guy agst the parents wish...her family is very conservative that they will not allow for this marriage..... Plz every here help me......

10 Mar 2010, 3:17 am | click here for answers

Open Question: What if men could get pregnant by other men?

Would gay male couples start having kids together? Would this help pave the way for national gay marriage? Would straight men take the opportunity to trying carrying a baby themselves? Thoughts!

10 Mar 2010, 2:54 am | click here for answers

Open Question: Help me regarding this?...........?

Is Second marriage possible acc to Hindu marriage…

10 Mar 2010, 2:33 am | click here for answers

Open Question: i am in love with some madly in love while dis was happnig i was already going around with my boyfriend..how?

i am in adore with someone madly in adore while dis was happening i was already going around with my boyfriend..how much ever i sleepy to break with him he still wanted to marry me n so did my parents..so now im married to my boyfriend but still im in adore with dat guy..he loves me equally...i have sleepy everything to make my marriage work but without adore things are only fake..so i told my husband dat i adore someone els but he is just not ready to leave me...he just wants me..wether i adore him or no..what shouldi i do???? help....

10 Mar 2010, 1:37 am | click here for answers

Open Question: I cant die i cant leave?

these days me & my husband r not having good time with each other.we have 10 yrs relationship.5 yrs before marriage,5 yrs after marriage. in these 10 yrs we had fights just for his family. i adore him very much but today also i have not felt any adore for me in his eyes.yes he is a very good husband ,he takes care for me but the thing is that i feel he is unhappy with me. We stay in joint family with his brother and mom dad. from last 10 yrs he always felt that i will take him away from his parents.i made him realised by every possible ways but at fights he kept on cursing me that you want to break my home,keep me away from my parents Im very honest,loving caring girl.from very first day of my marriage i tried my level difficult to keep every members in my home glad but i failed.i m the only daughter of my parents who didnt knw a single thing of household work but just for him n my in laws i did everything right from polishing their shoes to clean bathrooms,serving drinks but they are not glad with me i have 3 yr old son.from morning i startmy work till night 11.30.my mom imn law also helps me.she takes care of my child. but tht thing is that she wants that his son should not adore me,my son should not adore me.Why?i m also human ,i also need adore from my family,my husband.Whenever i try to share my problems with my husband he says that i m eating his ears,i m trying to btreak his home. why he cant understand me?i cant tell this to my parents also as mine is adore marriage though it is done arranged and i m not close to my parents from childhood.i dnt have best pal also to whom i can share every this. i cant die also as i have my little son.i have gone below treatments also but no use. my fights with him was bcoz he was very close to his mom physically which i was not able to digest.as his wife i always expected that he would hold my hands,when i m doing work in kitchen he will hug me from behind n say me that hw much he loved me.on my birthday gift me nything even a blossom will do n say me this is just for u,but this never happened with me from last 10 yrs not even before marriage, not even after marriage.he takes me along with him n buy for me but not on my birthday. same day is my anniversary also,but he never made me feel special. 365 days i stay with them giving everything in their hands right from a cup of tea to towel but no one cares for me. i have a tiny buisness also i look after that .the income which i receive from it 80% i spent on my child & my mom in law for every her needs from cols cream,sarees, to jewellery but then also no adore for me. the only thing i always needed was adore and nothing else. when some mithai will be bought by dad in law he will insist another bahu to eat but not me bcoz she is from their caste.my problems are very less to list im fed up of my life

10 Mar 2010, 1:35 am | click here for answers

Open Question: Why is he so selfish?

I have three kids from a previous marriage, and I'm now remarried and my husband and I have a baby together. I receive plenty of child support, so I haven't needed to receive a job. My husband doesn't earn a lot of money. He pays the mortgare; I pay the bills and support my girls, but I expect him to help with my expenses and our son's. He's pretty good about what our son needs, but doesn't help me out with money unless I ask for it. I know he needs to keep for our future, but I don't feel like a married couple because we don't share most of our expenses and income. It's making me resentful toward him. Should I feel this way?

10 Mar 2010, 12:34 am | click here for answers

Open Question: Not parenting related, but I need some help on deciding which one to use?

I tried posting this in Marriage & Divorce, but someone reported it (I have no clue why) and it was deleted. My husband is currently deployed. Our 5th wedding anniversary was a few weeks ago and (unfortunately) he missed it. I've been working on a scrapbook for a few months, we took anniversary photos before he left so I could add them to the scrapbook. I'd like to add a poem in the scrapbook, but I'm stuck on which one I should use! Here are the poems (I didn't write them, btw) Poem 1: Strong, Polite, Loving. He is my Marine, I adore him with the very depth of my soul. We share everything, good times and bad times.We never run out of things to say, he makes me giggle when I am down and snuggles me close when I can't snooze. He is my Marine, my lover, my soul mate, my life long partner. I hold him close to my heart. Always there for each other, always faithful, always strong. He is my Marine. I would walk to the ends of the earth for him, he would do the same. He is My Marine and I adore him more than words can explain. Poem 2: I sit up at night, alone in my bed Constant images run through my head glad times, unhappy times - the memories are there glad tears, unhappy tears - the tears that I fear. I hold his sweatshirt, so close to my heart Breathe in; breathe out - not much, but a start. snooze with his picture in my bed at night It's the next best thing I have to hold tight. The pillows lay sideways; I swear he's there They don't squeeze back; this isn't fair. I toss and I turn, I sit up and lay down I'm exhausted, I'm hurting, and I can't snooze sound. My eyes are swollen - they burn like hell The makeup don't work - you can still tell. Finally asleep, still alone, but don't know it He's in my dreams - I look him, I adore it! "He grabs my hand and turns me around, We cease, we dance - although there's no sound. He holds me close, and starts to sing About adore, about life, about everything. He lifts my chin and looks into my eyes, He tells me he loves me, it's no surprise. He kisses my head, puts it to his heart It's then that I know, we're not far apart." The alarm is sounding; wipe the snooze from my eyes It's another day gone, another sunrise. I'll continue my journey, until the very end And wait for my adore - my very best pal.

10 Mar 2010, 12:06 am | click here for answers

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